SHARK

We are more defined by our irrational elements. You never hear someone bragging about how they stayed home where it was warm and safe, they brag about how they went paintballing or skydiving. Our irrational elements are the most interesting things about us and our rational ones are not unique because everyone can think rationally. My experience with this was in middle school, every week my friends would tell me about their crazy surfing experiences. Whether it be a shark swimming underneath them or a seal jumping on their board, it was always something insane. While me on the other hand had exciting stories about sitting in my garage playing video games all weekend. This started to take a toll on my mental wellbeing, so much so that I began to invent stories of my own to top theirs. Since I wasn't a surfer, I decided to try out bodyboarding. I got to be pretty good and the stories became real, I really did have a seal try and attack me out in the water and one time I swear I saw a shark. But my stories got to the point to where they were making my friends think I was lying. Then THAT got too much so I quit bodyboarding to go back to gaming, and that is where I have been ever since.

This is a contradiction.

One of my most major contradictions that plagues me almost everyday of the week is my love of learning, but my hatred of studying. I hate studying, but I love to sit down and read a good book about the ocean or watch a documentary about ginseng, but if I were to do a report or a test on one of those topics I would immediately begin to hate it. I do not beat myself up over this contradiction because I believe that if I truly love something then I will seek out more information on the topic. In doing so I will be preparing and it won't really seem like "studying". I've only just recently discovered this, so I will most likely be trying to convince myself that everything I learn is something worth looking into more. The ones who are most disappointed with this contradiction are my parents because it is hard for them to understand how one can love learning, but hate learning at the same time. I probably have more contradictions, but I'm going to try and fix this one before I seek out others.